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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

DOOMED TO​.​.​.

by LINDSAY B.

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1.
if i'm too late if i'm to blame well it's all the same i won't change no hope for me i'm not worried i don't feel sad it's not that bad but i'm not somebody you can lean on i still have dreams of my own and if you want me then you gotta let me know better off alone are you over me? i've been hard to reach and so mean i still hate your friends wasted my time again by lying down outside your house just to get your attention i feel embarrassed for even asking "can i still crash on your floor?" i fucking love ya but i'm better off alone better off alone doomed to... doomed to... doomed to feel this forever
2.
Graduating 03:07
were you missing out? no one's missing me i'm the reason why my friends are not friends with me and it's funny how after all this time i still sleep with the lights on every single night there's nothing quite like being the last one to know i always knew i would end up alone never even started already giving up this is the part where i discover i will never be enough because i'm boring and i'm bitter and i'm drunk and there's always someone better than you at doing the things you love there's nothing quite like being the last one to know i always knew i would end up alone graduating now i'm gone there's nothing quite like being the last one to know i always knew i would end up alone
3.
I Do 03:56
the only reason i called you last night was because i was drunk and alone and i got to thinking about how we looked good together but i look the best on my own i'm such an asshole for calling i guess i wanna talk and if i actually meant what i said i never would have said it at all how do i waste my life? there's nothing like thinking your friends never liked you and then being right it's always the wrong thing to say at the worst time and i'm fine with putting myself first or coming up short and then letting you down did you see it coming? were you surprised? i do what i want (going out, getting some) i wanna go somewhere i wanna feel brand new i wanna surgically remove any last remaining thoughts of you and everyone's getting older and everyone's growing up and everyone's moving out and on from me i never thought you would too i do what i want (going out, getting some)
4.
Driving 03:20
speak in tongues to me say only nice things when i call dont feign your energy you have the best parts of me you stole i sent a message asking "are u mine?" but i dont wanna know please dont reply i wanna know where you go i wanna know where you end up driving to see you tonight driving to see where you've gone i am in misery i only love desperately or not at all i sent a message asking "are u mine?" but i dont wanna know please dont reply i wanna know where you go i wanna know where you end up driving to see you tonight driving to see where you've gone driving around with you driving around...
5.
something keeps me trapped down here for hours. i can almost make you out in the dark i feel like i constantly kicking upward for a surface that never comes. it was nice of you to say you didn't love her when we both know that you do nobody's waiting nobody's waiting nobody's waiting for me something eats away at my better judgment i don't miss food or feeling and i know it's late and i shouldn't have called you, baby i'm a hound dog let me in i don't know what to do but all i know is that i wish i never met you nobody's waiting nobody's waiting nobody's waiting for me no more waking up in the morning and then wrapping your arms around me no more sneaking out so your parents don't see where you've been hiding no more kissing you at the front door no more holding you in the shower no more laying down beside you in the backseat of your car...

about

...
16 months ago i started writing a record with no real creative compass or graceful plan of execution. just a bunch of really tough shit was happening and what resulted was this, a 5-song coming to terms with probably being doomed forever. that, to me, has become my most reliable muse and i'm cool with that. -L

credits

released June 20, 2017

music and lyrics by Lindsay Baffo

recorded by Jesse Avila in the winter/spring of 2017 at The Hut in San Fernando, CA.

Lindsay Baffo: vox, guitar
Jesse Avila: bass, additional guitar
Alex Foley: drums

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LINDSAY B. Los Angeles, California

to live and die in LA

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